took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
