Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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