just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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