I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
