wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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