Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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