He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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