I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
