hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
