Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize