she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
