Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
