Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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