the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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