So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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