dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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