I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize