I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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