So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
