Don't make out with my wife yet
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
