I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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