Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
