Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
