I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
