but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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