it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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