Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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