you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
