so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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