Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
