I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
honey bunches of taint.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
