I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
