How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
