those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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