Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
