I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize