At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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