I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
