That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
