Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
