How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
