I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
