508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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