my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
