I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
