"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?