He kissed a someone with a penis
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.