i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!