He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.