Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity