ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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