This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
