North Korea, Best Korea!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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