the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
operation harelip BJ is a go
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i will never coherently bang her
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
