need another drink. this is the easiest way
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
