on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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