Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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