I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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