Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
