So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Houston, we have a blender
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
