Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I deserve this hangover.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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