Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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